The Way We Exit Determines the Way We Enter

Typically, I don't share alot of my testimony. But of late a particular moment in my life keeps mulling over and over in my mind. I may or may not have already shared this with you but if I have, I feel it bears repeating.

My parents tolerated alot from me during my rebellious teen years, but I respected them enough to at least attempt to hide my acts of rebellion. Now that I'm a parent, I realize that all my attempts were futile since God has ways of exposing all sin -I think it's that whole "eyes in the back of your mom's head" thing.

One particular weekend when I was in my late teens, my parents decided to trust me to stay by myself in the house while they left for the weekend. - that was their first mistake. I decided to invite a "few" friends over - that was my first mistake. What I thought would be an adventure in my new found freedom wound into one of those parties that you only see in a bad movie. You know where flyers with your address get passed around and posted on trees and bulletin boards and before you know it, things are out of control. People I didn't even know brought in things that I wasn't even old enough to buy.

Needless to say the house got seriously trashed and the police brough a halt to my little adventure. A survey of the damage overwhelmed me so I decided to just go to bed and clean it up in the morning. The light of day revealed the mess in its true light so again I postponed the inevitable and went to Denny's, determined to clean it up when I got back.

After breakfast, I came back to find that my parents had "unexpectedly" come home while I was at Denny's. Even as I'm telling you this now I feel the pangs of guilt and embarrassment that I felt that day. My parents were busy cleaning up my mess, not the first and surely not the last. I don't remember what my punishment was but the disappointment I felt coming from them was enough punishment to last me a lifetime.

Recently, there has been such an urgency in my heart to share this with you now because I believe God has brought this back to me for a reason. Matthew chapter 25 has Jesus telling us about ten virgins, five wise and five foolish. They were all waiting for the brideroom but the fooish virgins were not prepared. As they left to buy more oil for their lamps, the bridegroom came and they were not allowed into the wedding. The Lord says, "Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the son of Many is coming."

It seems that alot of us have "messes" in our lives that need to be cleaned up before the Father comes home. Don't be caught just going about your business telling yourself "I've got plenty of time to clean it up later." We don't know how much time we have. Ask the Father to reveal any "messes" that you've even forgotten about because you've delayed addressing it for so long. He is faithful and just to clean up our messes if we simply ask Him for help and forgiveness.

A few months ago, when the Lord impressed this memory back to me, I talked to my dad and apologized to him all over again for what I had done that weekend. Thirty some years later I still felt the need to repent. I vividly remember my dad's response to me. He said, "Brenda, I don't remember what you're talking about."

There it is, the perfect picture of Jeremiah 31:34 "...For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more."

I have just finished reading a book written by a friend of ours in Dallas. She has written a gripping novel about this very subject God has been dealing with me about. Please consider this my encouragement to read this book and share it with a friend.

SO CLOSE, by Paulette Kinkaid can be ordered from Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble or go directly to her website a pkincaid.com to order.

My husband preached last week that "the way we exit determines the way we enter." Let's all enter 2011 ready for the Lord!

Cya

Brenda

Pet Peeve

We all have them don't we? Those little actions by people or things around us that either slightly irritate us or drive us totally nuts. For my husband it may be a car that needs vacuumed, for my daughter it is two old people not talking while eating out at a restaurant. For the "What Not To Wear" people, it's visible panty lines. We all have at least one pet peeve in our life, most have many.

Mine is known to all in my family. It's become a laughing matter whenever we go shopping, be it a grocery or retail store, wherever you have to pay for the goods you take home. My pet peeve usually comes into play at the pay counter or the small space in which you have to make the transaction. The Rijfkogel's affectionately refer to this area as our "pay space." Expect me to briefly step out of my right mind if mine gets violated. You all know what I'm talking about, those annoying customers behind you that hurry to put their little space bar down between your groceries and their groceries and then they huddle up right next to you as if you're going to pay for their purchases as well. Or maybe they actually are watching over your shoulder while you're pressing all those secret code buttons as if they are making themselves available should you need their help. These are the times that quite honestly, if I wasn't the woman of God He called me to be, I would stare them right in the face and say "Well, do I want cash back or not?"

But I don't pop off to them, and I wouldn't. I simple go out to the car mumbling under my breath little utterances about payspaces, passcodes and people being in too much of a hurry. By the time I get to the car, I'm always over it. Never remembering the pushy little faces that so defiantly violated my pay space. Do y'all get my drift about how much this annoys me or do I need to snow again?

And, even as I am writing this, I realize that I may be someone’s pet peeve. I probably have some little action, of which I am totally unaware, that annoys someone else to the bone. Perhaps it’s when I am most preoccupied with some deep thought or caught up in the responsibilities of the day. When I am simply relying on auto pilot to walk me through a routine action while my mind is engaged in something more demanding of my concentration. Could it be that these people that annoy me so much for that brief period in “pay land” could be mentally focused on a tragedy in their life? They could be worried about their finances and whether or not they could afford what they had on the conveyor belt. Maybe they really were in a hurry because they had a sick loved one at home that was in need of something they were buying, but they didn’t want to be rude and ask me if they could go ahead of me.

Even as I type, conviction sets in. I am so reminded of the fruit of the spirit listed in Galations 5:22, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, KINDNESS, goodness, faithfulness…” I added the emphasis on kindness because my commentary puts it all in a nutshell. It says “Kindness is goodness in action, sweetness of disposition, gentleness in dealing with others, benevolence. The word describes the ability to act for the welfare of those taxing your patience.” (hmmmmmm) “The Holy Spirit removes abrasive qualities from the character of one under His control.”

The fruit of the Spirit will get us through those everyday “testy” trials in our lives. Not only will we reap a harvest of kindness when we need it most, but the fruit helps us to discern those who are in need of our particular gift of ministry.

The next time my “pay space” gets violated, I’ll just head over to the produce section. J
Cya,
Brenda

Growing up

Okay, so I haven’t blogged in awhile. Not to justify my absence, but I have been quite overwhelmed of late—both physically and emotionally.

As school started this year, I realized that I (well, Sam too) have a senior this year…a senior in high school. Me, as young as I am (no snickers please), with a senior…in high school. And not only is Nathan a senior this year (in high school), but Sarah will be 16 and driving (aaahhhhh) in four weeks. Enough said. Those of you who have already ridden on this emotional roller coaster can totally relate and know exactly why I’ve felt so overwhelmed.

My first point is my youngest, Sarah - Assistant Blogger Extraordinaire. Hopefully, you all have enjoyed her “fill-in” blogs. She is an exceptional writer with a passion and love for the Lord and gifted enough to know how to express her love through the written word.

As you may have read in her blog, lately we have been consumed with her new school, Hudsonville High, where she is steadily realizing her Eagle powers. She loves her creative writing class (obviously) and making new friends daily. During her off school time, we are giving her much needed driving time before the “big” day. Big to her—scary to us. It’s funny how 16 year olds don’t understand the concept of “Learner’s Permit.” The operative word being LEARNER’S. While she’s driving, I go into instructor mode saying, “watch that car, slow down, look both ways” when her only concern is how to switch the radio from AM to FM. I think she just wants to drown out my constant belting out “Jesus Take the Wheel.” We are still getting the barrage of “when will I get a car?” whining. I do, however, realize that this whining comes with 16 year old territory. I am not alone.

Sarah has kept me busy and on my knees. Nathan has been time consuming as well. Did I mention he was a senior in high school? College is coming sooner that I can imagine. Even as I say the words, I can feel my shoulders drop and my eyes start to tear up. He is inundated daily with college brochures and letters in the mail. The decision is a great one, probably his biggest to date, but I know that God is speaking to him and will direct his path. I know that we have trained him in the way he should go. I just wish we could tell him what to do now. But this decision is his, and his alone. This is the day that we have coached him for his whole life. To be on his own, a man preparing for life as an adult (give me a minute, okay?), to realize the plans and purposes God has for him and to have the faith to step out with the boldness to go where he has never gone before (tissues please).

My two little children are becoming independent and in little need of mom and dad. Then again, isn’t this exactly what we trained them for since the day they were born?

Here it is in a spiritual nutshell. I believe that in the physical realm, as we mature and grow up, we become less and less dependent upon our parents. In the spiritual realm, the sign that we are a mature believer is that we are more and more dependent upon the Father (2 Cor. 6:18). Relying totally on Him, walking in faith, believing what He says, allowing Him to direct our paths and following His commands. I want to grow up and mature in the Lord to where I stop trying to do things my own way…I stop rolling my eyes when He tells me something I don’t want to hear…stop thinking that I know more than He knows. I want to be so mature that I will have the faith to do all He wants me to do, whenever He wants me to do it, believing that He will make sure that I have all I need to accomplish His purpose in my life.

Please pray for pastor and me as we head toward this new chapter in our lives…and buy stock in Kleenex!

Cya,

Brenda

It's Sarah!

Hey guys, it’s Sarah again! I cannot explain how great it feels to get these hands on this keyboard again to BLOG to you ladies! Well probably, or most of you, already know that I have transferred to public school this fall. I’m now attending Hudsonville High School and it’s officially my second home. I love it. Part of the reason I transferred though, was because I wanted to witness to people who I had never met, who I never grew up with, or even had the time to share who I was or want to be. I had always heard that you can tell when someone’s a Christian because you can feel something is different about them, a certain keen presence about them that makes you want to know more. This year I got bold. Bolder than ever. I did something I would’ve never dreamed of doing in my life. But then again, I never thought I’d be going to a public school either. You see, our youth group is doing an outreach called The 30 Day Bible Challenge hosted by The National Youth Alive Program. The challenge is when a youth group, or a group of friends, makes a commitment to carry around a Bible with them everywhere they go in their school. Locker to locker, class to class, even to the bathroom. It’s very powerful. I’ve already had several instances of people even asking me what it was my first week of school. But there’s one situation in particular.

I was standing in the library looking for a place to sit with my Mac Book so I could do some research. There was one chair and it was at a crowded table. I sat down and started to work. As I worked all I could hear about was new drugs they were trying, what hour they wanted to go smoke, and what was going in their sex lives. I couldn’t concentrate. I’m a Christian. I shouldn’t be sitting here listening, I should say something? Then again, I wasn’t supposed to be hearing this. They couldn’t be any louder. It sounded like someone was screaming inside of my brain. I started to hurt inside. My heart started to break, and not a as a figure of speech. I grabbed my things and started to make my way out of the seat. I felt the Holy Spirit clearly inside me “Do not move from that seat.” I sat back down, my heart still hurting until I heard, “Why do you have your Bible with you?” the boy beside me talking about all the notorious things he had accomplished. I told him straight out, “Because I want to reach my school for Jesus Christ.” He stared at me. So did his friends. It was awkward. But it wasn’t a mean stare. “That’s bold of you” He said. “I like people that are bold.”

See, we don’t know what people are going through; sometimes we don’t even want to know. Like me. I didn’t want to be any part of their ‘stuff’ but I didn’t want to say anything. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will speak to you and tell you to “stay still”. If you’re in financial crisis, thinking about leaving your partner, or even dropping out of school because you feel like you can’t do it anymore, God will want you to be still, because He can use your bad situation, and turn it into a good one.

First Car Memories

As much as I hate to admit it, Sarah will be 16 soon. She’s already started the constant barrage of “when will I get a car?” pleading. Although she just got her permit and is barely able to determine the difference between the brake and the gas pedal, she is determined that she will be ready to drive “her own car” on the very first hour of her 16th birthday. It takes me back …. back thirty ummm … some odd years ago when I was doing the very same pleading myself (I think I was much better at it, but don’t tell Sarah). My dad told me that I could get a car under two conditions, 1) I had to pay for it myself, and 2) He had to be the one to pick it out.

The day I turned 16 I immediately drove the family car in a quest for employment. I landed the highly sought after position of grocery cashier at Cooper’s Lucky Foods and was thereafter paid the minimum wage in 1976 of $2.30 hour. This wage was definitely earned, as we didn’t just slide the groceries one at a time across a magnetic strip. No, the customers brought their baskets to me, the cashier, where I then unloaded the groceries and individually punched in the price of each item. I would give the customer their total, take the cash and calculate the change in my head, (a lost art) and count it back to the customer. To this day I have this weird mathematical tic that developed during those years. My kids like to show me off at parties or when they have friends over, “Hey mom $16.37 out of $20,” within mere seconds I respond, “$3.63.” followed by a burst of laughter …. from them not me.

Nevertheless, the first prerequisite for car ownership had been accomplished. I was a taxpaying wage earner. The second part … not so easy. Keep in mind that my dad is the king of car buying. Never, ever go to a car lot with my father - you will either come out with the best car on the lot, or you will die of embarrassment. We shopped for cars for what seemed to be an eternity. There was always something he didn’t like - too fast, too small, too yellow, too whatever … just pick something already dad! Then one day, as I was doing my thing at Cooper’s Lucky Foods, Mr. Cooper told me I had a phone call. Dad had a car at our house for me to take a look at. Mr. Cooper gave me 30 minutes and a fatherly grin. I think he knew what was about to happen. The whole walk home I prayed “Oh, please let it be a Datsun 280Z.” The nearer I got to home I had resolved that no matter what this car looks like, it’s the first one he has shown any interest in. I will be thankful and take it!!

As I turned the corner, there she was. A 1974 Dodge Dart Sport, metallic brown, with an alligator skin roof. AM radio, vinyl seats and a portable air conditioner dropping down from the dash completed the look that every 16 girl wants. I told dad how much I loved the car and before the day’s end, it was mine. It came complete with a payment book … $74.10 a month for 18 months.

Now, it wasn’t exactly what I pictured in my mind that I would be driving but it ended up being the best car ever! It got great gas mileage and I can’t remember it ever needing serviced. Dad knew what he was doing. He knew that I couldn’t get past the looks of a car. He knew that what I needed was Him to show me what I really needed, something dependable that would take me where I needed to go.
Okay, here’s the spiritual application. Matthew 6:8b reads from the Message like this “…this is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need.” Sometimes we pray and pray and tell God exactly what we want and how it should look when the whole time He knows better than us what we really need. So “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made know to God;” (Philippians 4:6).

Are you anxious and stressed because your answered prayer doesn’t look quite like you thought it would? Rest in His perfection – Father really does know best!!

Oh, by the way, does this story reveal to you why I resent self checkout lanes?

Cya-
Brenda

Do you have a first car memory?

Lebron James Hopefully, everyone knows of the great Lebron James. If you don’t, just ask any healthy all American, red blooded male between the ages of 2 years and death. With unsurpassed recall these same guys can quote you Lebron’s rebound, assist, and three point stats as well as his free throw average without as much as blinking an eye. These are the same guys who can’t remember your anniversary or what you were wearing on your first date. Girls, we just know Lebron makes a lot of money!! As a side note, Pastor Sam knows nothing about those stats so he remembers exactly what I was wearing on our first date, he’s the man!! My son is no exception when it comes to being a Lebron James fan. I found this out while back-to-school shopping last fall. When it came time to purchase the tennis shoes, my jaws dropped at the price he paid for his Lebrons. For you girls, they are like the Jimmy Choos of athletic footwear. Sometimes it’s hard to be a pastor’s kid. (Now there’s a great seg). This year was especially difficult as Easter Sunday fell smack in the middle of spring break which meant we had to stay close to home while the other kids were headed south to warmer climate. Trying to keep the kids excited about their sunless vacation, I searched for fun things to do in Chicago, a short car ride away. The highlight of the entire trip would be Thursday night. The Bulls were playing the Cavaliers at home. This was going to be the big one. The one that made all the bitterness of a boring spring break fly right out the window. I got online and found the best seats I could find - fourth row, right by the visitor’s tunnel, smack dab in front of the visitor’s bench. If Lebron broke a sweat, Nathan was gonna get wet. That’s how close they were. The cost was, to quote the commercial – priceless - but sacrificial just the same. Thursday night comes with much anticipation. Nathan bought a Cavs shirt to wear that night and he brought his trusty black Sharpie – ready to whip off one of his Lebrons in a flash should LBJ start autographing anything. Nathan hung by that tunnel awaiting his basketball hero when all of a sudden, here he comes, dressed in a three piece suit. To quote fb lingo “wwwwwwhhhhhhhaaaaaatttt?” It seems it was right before the playoffs and the coach decided that it was too risky for the big man to actually play. Apparently the Cavs already had their “whatever” title sewn up so they didn’t need this win. The disappointment in my son’s face, even Sarah and Sam were devastated. We had sacrificed our time to come, we bought special clothes, and the tickets, what about the cost of the tickets? But there he sat, not even on the bench but behind the bench, all night long. No autographs, nothing, he just walked through the tunnel and sat down. As disappointed as I was, I have to admit I was impressed at the way he encouraged his teammates during the entire game. He wasn’t caught up with the crowd, just the game. The crowd was caught up with him, disappointed he didn’t play. Now, I suppose after all that you are wondering “where in the world is the spiritual application?” Here it is. Something hit me that night, later in the hotel, while I was listening to everybody moaning and groaning about the game. Do we do that as Christians? Are we so caught up with wanting God to perform for us that we forget to simply enjoy His Presence? The Word tells us in Psalm 16:11 that “In His Presence is fullness of joy.” He doesn’t HAVE to perform for us simply because we feel we’ve made a significant investment for him to perform. We are to praise Him for who He is, not for what He does. We thank Him for the miracles as well as the gifts, but if He chooses just to be present, I’m okay with that. Without His presence, we have nothing. Now, before you get all beside yourself, I AM NOT comparing Lebron James to God. I’m just asking you to think about this analogy and to allow the Holy Spirit to have liberty to do whatever He wants to do. We can make demands upon the anointing, but not the God of the anointing. Let Him choose to perform, we need to just simply welcome His Presence and bask in the tender touches that convince us that He is ever with us. By the way, after the game, Lebron high-fived Nathan as he exited through the visitor’s tunnel. Pretty cool, huh? So not worth it. Cya- Brenda

Choosing to Rest

Last night Pastor Sam (or the most wonderful man in the world as I like to call him) finished the Wednesday night series of Ordering Your Private World. (If you weren’t able to take the class PLEASE read the book. It’s by Gordon MacDonald.) The last chapter was on “Choosing Rest” a topic we don’t address too often these hectic days.

He reminded us of God’s plan for us to stop our routines and labor and simply rest, meditating on the past; God’s purpose, the present; God’s standard, and the future; Christ centered. This reflection helps rejuvenate us to continue in His work.

Last week, we took it to heart, literally. Several months ago, we scheduled this past week to take a break, a vacation, just the two of us, without kids (woo hoo) and just do … nothing…. in Florida of course. I mean if you’re going to do nothing what better place to not do it in? Like I said, this trip was scheduled a long time ago and the point is, the enemy seemed to constantly come against us going on our trip. The airline cancelled our whole first day there, scheduling issues came up and then, there was the whole oil spill thingy. Now I know I’m being a little selfish about the oil spill (we went to the gulf coast), I know it didn’t just happen to keep us from going on vacation but the devil knows timing sometimes better than we do. The more we battled with whether to even go or not the more we knew we needed to go.
Our time there was so incredibly restful and peaceful and wonderful even though it was cut short (airline issues). Our entire plan for the week was eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired….go to the beach…. go to Steinmart. And that’s exactly what we did. Pastor slept the entire first day under the umbrella (he actually drooled Cheetos all over his chest … I have pictures) and as the warm coastal sun swept over us, we felt the cares, the burdens, the worries and the heaviness that comes with both pastoring and parenting melt off of us like Banana Boat sunscreen…of which we used alot.
Not having the kids there, as much as I love those two, made the trip more of a Sabbath. Sam told us last night that amusement and Sabbath are not to be connected. Sabbath requires rest and meditation. So that’s exactly what we did. We watched the parasailers go by and I’d say “you wanna do that?” he’d say “nope.” The dolphin sight seeing tour boat went by, “you wanna do that?” he’d say “nope.” We rested, we reflected and we refreshed.
On our last day, God honored our rest by giving us a special glimpse of His creation (no not oil), we saw dolphins, a school of about fifty mana ray and two manatees swim by directly in front of us. Of course, I didn’t go back in the water after that but it was cool all the same.
When we left we vowed that we would not wait four years to do this again. We have to take a Sabbath, it’s one of the commandments, remember? It doesn’t mean we have to go to Florida. We can just sit back, relax and meditate on all He has blessed us with. The lesson learned was a gentle reminder that our Sabbath doesn’t just happen we have to make it happen. Schedule it in like an appointment or a business meeting.
Our thanks to all those that made this trip so wonderful (with the exception of American Airlines) you know who you are! Please remember to pray for all the folks in the gulf coast. Their livelihood depends on travel and tourism; they need that oil to go away!

Cya
B